my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
