now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
