Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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