I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
