How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
handjob tips. give me some.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
