Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
