she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
