i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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