it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
