i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
