i was rollin on her like bob the builder
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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