Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
we're so committed to being not committed
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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