are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There r osticjed everywhere
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
