p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
