I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
