My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
