I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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