Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
