I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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