great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
