if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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