The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
