Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
