only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
