she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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