google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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