living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
