Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
