I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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