The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
