I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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