glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
