How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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