If i come over, it means nothing
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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