my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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