hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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