I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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