i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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