My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
