Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize