do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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