we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
