Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
