I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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