Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
