My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
