i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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