I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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