Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
