I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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